Happy National Turkey Genocide Day...

I think Thanksgiving should also be called National Turkey Genocide Day. And everytime I think that, it makes me laugh and frown simultaneously (have fun trying to do that- it's possible! Hopefully trying to make that face will make you smile).

Thanksgiving was amazing. It is also officially my favorite holiday. It's a holiday that gives reason for everyone, child or adult, poor or rich, to put down everything, get together with their loved ones, and eat amazing food and be thankful for what they have. Isn't that incredible? I am an athiest, but in a sense, Thanksgiving is truly a blessing. I totally heart the Pilgrims for starting this tradition, even though I think a lot of Native Americans were slaughtered by them in the process as well, so that's not good...

If you couldn't tell already, I'm feeling better. Things have gotten better. Not in every aspect of my life, I mean that type of change rarely happens to anyone, but in general, my outlook on life is better.

I have some advice. If you're feeling down, go and watch a good hour's worth of home videos from your past. Regardless of whether they are good memories or bad, try doing that. Also, try to find videos that you specifically are in. When you watch such tapes, you sort of have an epiphany, and realize how much things have changed over the years, how much you have changed. When I watched my home videos, my heart ached for Seattle, for how happy my parents, little brother, and I were there. It was just the four of us and the Emerald City was our playground, and it was wonderful. The memories the four of us made there are the ones I will think of on my deathbed, permitted that I will be healthy enough to be able to remember them.

When I watched the videos, I realized how much life had changed me. And yes, it was life that altered elements of me; it was, and it will always be life. Life is a combination of things, I'm not entirely sure what the components of it are, but I have a feeling that I will know what they are when I get older, when my future experiences will wisen me about my surroundings even more.
I used to be very outspoken, naive, energetic, and happy. I was always laughing and smiling, and I was unashamed of my actions. My mom watched the videos with me, and she told me that she missed the old me. I miss her too.

However, I also noticed how I looked completely unrecognizable to the old me; now I'm plump and moderate-looking, whereas when I was nine, I was a toothpick, and I felt like I didn't have any attractive features (my mom nonetheless, says I was "beautiful" as a child as well, and I love her for that even more).

So I'm a little tired of writing. That happens with me a lot, sorry. It's just that I start writing passionately about something that's on my mind for this blog, and then I forget the purpose of my entry. And then my brain starts "hurting," and I loose my mojo. And then... wait, I'm listing off excuses. Um, okay I'm basically lazy.. :( sorry.

I will hopefully write on this blog in the near future. But seriously you guys, WATCH A HOME VIDEO. Please. Tell me what kind of effect the experience had on you. And make sure you haven't watched the video for a good 5 years! Or else it's not as impactful (is that even a word? It should be).

Oh, and for the first time, I wrote this while (whilst?) playing music- the Glee soundtrack, to be specific. I always hear about famous authors (cough cough Stephenie Meyer) writing with music playing in the background, so I tried it out, and it's very useful! I recommend it to everyone. It helps you write things that you wouldn't have the guts to say if you wrote in silence. Or maybe that's just me.

I hope whoever is reading this is okay, and that they're happy. I hope that someday I can find the strength to change myself for the better. And I feel incredibly stupid for saying that as well.

I DON'T KNOW.

-Alina